Keith McAdam - How I became a Christian

Well I certainly wasn’t born one and I had no intentions of becoming one. In fact I was completely ignorant of religion and in some ways this has been a blessing since I had no preconceived ideas to get rid of.

My “first encounter” came when - through a set of circumstances - I was at a Christmas Carol concert whilst a student at Polytechnic. I was near the back row and we sang the last verse of O’ Little town of Bethlehem which begins “O Holy Child of Bethlehem, Descend on us we pray, Cast out our sin, and enter in, Be born in us today.”. Suddenly, I became aware of a feeling of being an outsider - a bit like an Everton fan at a Liverpool home game - which was so intense that I began to cry. I managed to disguise my reaction by using my handkerchief and affecting the symptoms of a winter cold, but I was troubled in mind.

Since the age of ten I’d said an end of day prayer, as a form of insurance policy, to the higher intelligence which might or might not be out there. I now realised that I had to resolve the issue before I could carry on with my life - but how to do it? I had no real awareness of religions or religious teaching but I did know that my friend of many years attended a church. He had never tried to argue religion with me - maybe he didn’t want to destroy our friendship. It seemed a reasonable place to start, so I asked him if I could come along one Sunday.

I’ll always remember his reaction. It was a weekday evening and we were going to a sports hall to play badminton. I’d cycled down and met him at the train station. I was pushing my bicycle along the road when I asked him the question. Three seconds later I realised that he was no longer walking at my side. He’d stopped dead in his tracks some ten feet back and had, in Liverpool “Scouse” terminology, a “gobsmacked” look on his face. He’d prayed for me to come to Jesus - he just wasn’t prepared for his prayers to be answered.

There was so much that I didn’t understand at those Sunday morning meetings. Singing choruses (short songs) from memory; People speaking in a strange language (Speaking in tongues); People speaking as though they were God speaking (interpretations); and certain people reading from the Bible and speaking (preaching) about things which were way over my head. I just gritted my teeth and prayed to God that He would give me an answer - if He existed.

I became more involved in the church and there was, thankfully, no pressure on me to do anything and no brainwashing - I was left in peace to get to know God. I suppose I was a technically a seeker. I found myself enjoying the people but not really understanding the teachings. Who was Jesus, why was it necessary for Him to die? Where did the Holy Spirit come into it? Eventually the pivotal moment came.

I went with members of the church to a camping conference in the Peak District. I was in my own small tent and we attended meetings each morning and evening. During my free time I lay in my tent or went walks, and gave God some prayerful earache. In my opinion I was a Christian but I wasn’t having an easy time of it. My life seemed still to be without meaning.

On the Wednesday morning, God answered my prayers. Some people were undergoing adult baptism on the following day and I was asked if I wanted to be baptised. I replied that I didn’t feel ready and that was accepted without argument. In the morning meeting we were singing a hymn and I began to cry again. Everyone was so caught up with praising and worshipping God that nobody noticed me. I now know that I received the Holy Spirit at that point and my life changed. I was desperate and God supplied the answer.

I can’t think of a way to describe the peace and happiness that began at that point. I was baptised some weeks later and those qualities of peace, and the knowledge of being acceptable to God have never really left me. My joy in God has wavered over the years and I’m sure I have failed in many ways, but I have never lost sight of the knowledge that God loves me. I can’t explain it and I can’t rationalise it. According to Peter’s second letter chapter1 verse12 even the angels can’t understand it.

Keith McAdam

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e-mail : mcadam@cfn.org.uk